Another Friday night with my kids 4 years post divorce. My day started at 5:45 and now its almost midnight, still awake as my 12 year old has a sleep over and I am waiting for them to go to bed. When I was married Fridays were so different. Not always perfect but different none the less. One of us could be sleeping while the other stays awake with the sleep over. Or someone to take the pizza box out to the trash while the 4 year old is asleep on my lap. I enjoy my time with my kids like nothing else however, at times the lonliness is unbearable and I miss having someone, another adult, there to share the time with. Today I was so concerned about out military men and woman loosing pay and I so wanted to have a discussion with someone about it. My kids are too young to understand. They also don't understand when I have a bad day and need time to process my day. Lately I have had a string of bad luck meeting nice guys. It seems that alot of men prefer much younger women or women that are willing to jump in bed with them right away. The rest are old men looking to "spoil" someone, ie... midlife crisis. I made the mistake of posting on my facebook about how men are pigs. A friend of mine posted "stop looking so hard" This coming from a married woman who got to go home that night and sleep next to her husband and share all of the happenings of her day. I felt so much like telling her to tell me that after she has been alone for 4 years. I try and stay busy and make sure that my kids have as much of me as they can. I am learning to take better care of myself and not feel guilty about it. I had the most difficult time getting to the gym because I felt guilty about leaving them for an hour after we had been apart all day long with work and school. I think taking care of myself makes me feel better and helps with my mood with them. This week however, I was not able to go to the gym once because of activities and sports and birthdays for the kiddos. Oh well maybe next week will be better!
Wish I had words of wisdom to share with you. But alas.... As the parent of children your age, I can assure you that the time you spend with your kids is time well-spent. They will be gone before you turn around twice. ... Alan
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